Relate

I always feel like people are trying really really hard to wrap their minds around this crazy situation. My personality has to fight against making sure you know what I'm going through. Having not been in it before, it's impossible unless you're here or really close to here, like so many other unthinkable circumstances. 4 kids, 2 moves, lots of deployments - all in 2 1/2 yrs. It's a lot to chew, I know, it's also a lot of blessing, I know and I love that.

I am learning to be merciful. There are times that if I hear another stranger say some cliche comment about my situation I want to scream (at them - it would be very scary for them).
"boy do you have your hands full", "I don't know how you do it", "when I'm having a bad day, I'll think of you" and those are just my least fav' - they are all negatives.

Then there are the people are just trying to 'fix' it for me so that they don't feel like they have to do something about it. Not that I wanted them to or asked them to but it just makes them feel better. That's ok, I just wish they'd have the conversation in their heads, not with me.
"well, if anyone could do it, you could" (I know, that sounds encouraging but what they are typically saying is - 'glad it's you and not me' - this excludes the people who genuinely mean that) or "well, it's only for a short time" (I know this one is true but my days and weeks are really really long sometimes and this only becomes true in retrospect) or "looks like you have every thing under control" (ha!)

I am writing this down so I can look back and remember the feeling and remember to be merciful and practice instant forgiveness for the silly things people don't mean to say. Really, they have the best intentions, I just live and really look for the positive and cheery comments like: "you are doing a great job", "here, let me get that for you" (I know, it sounds weird but I love that one!), a hug (not a comment, I know, but even better), or someone talking to me about something other than my 'situation'....

My days are so full. It's a really really good day when I can lay my head down on the pillow knowing that I only cried twice that day and it was for less than 30 min. total. I'm good with that for now, I know it will change. Some people do not have that kind of hope. I get smiled at, kissed a lot, hugged too much, and cuddled with constantly - I have nothing that needs to be 'fixed' and I am thankful that 'my hands are full' -

Don't worry, if you have said these things to me I don't remember individual comments from specific people. I am a people person and am around a lot of people which means I expose myself to endless comments from strangers. Those are the ones that bother me - not the genuine ones from friends and family.....I'll take all those I can get.