anyone else?
I think that until this morning I have been in denial about Jake leaving.
When we first heard he'd be going it was joined with, 'but there's no way they'll actually send me'
He JUST got home.
So, this whole time I have been holding onto the idea that 'there's no way'.
But he's gone and it just hit me, full force, this morning at 6am when a baby screamed, an hour too early, that it's just me now.
And I'm flipping out mad.
I hate this. period.
I want to be done doing this I want my husband home and I want to know he is going to stay home.
"God is preparing me for something", yeah, yeah.
All I feel right now is that He forgot to prepare me for THIS
- from one military wife.....there are hundreds of 'flipping out mad' girls out there....Father God, comfort.
p.s. I'm going to go put a happy face on now and go to church, THE hardest place to go in a state like this - "Holly....how are you?" - "Great!" (as I flare up inside and just want to scream "HOW DO YOU THINK I AM????" )
p.p.s. hopefully this is all the complaining you'll hear from me - it just hit me so I wanted to get it out of my system and move on. the end.
The Mommy and Daddy
(aka Holly and Jake, but only sometimes)
Our Lydia
Our Samantha
Our Lenora
Our Sophie
5 comments:
Our churches tend to be the hardest places to be when we fell the way your feeling right now. It's too bad that's true, since they should be the places we RUN to when we feel that way. I'll be praying for you, and Jake, this morning.
Jonathan
Well, girl, from someone who has been in your shoes just as frequently, these things are like going through a grieving process and grieving is messy. I am so sorry you have to be apart again and so soon. It just plan ol' SUCKS. I hate that we have to go through this. I hope you find a kindred spirit this trip and be your normal honest self. You are not alone and you are loved. We are again at His thrown for your family.
Amanda
Just be honest - when they ask how you are - tell them - gracefully - that it is hard.
God may not be "preparing you" for anything - this may just be what it is - that's it. Live it with grace - it does not mean you will not learn anything - sometimes it just means - lean on Him - He will give you the strength you need.
Hang in there - you are loved, and we will be praying for you.
soooo.... how is that U to Beale coming?
oh. i'm so sorry. i'm mad for you. and with you. and also praying for you...
Hey you...I am mad too that Jake has to leave again....I mean really, come on, let the guy stay home and love his family! Know how you feel every time he leaves....just keep praying for an assignment that he will be able to be home and his schedule would be consistant and predictable! Worked for us and we got through it...you will too! Love ya, Kristy
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