hurts

I miss Jake in different ways on different days at different times.

sometimes it's physical, I just need a hug
sometimes it's emotional, I just need someone to talk it out with
sometimes it's mental, I can't decide and I need a second opinion

Today it's his extra set of hands I miss.

All four of the girls have had numerous emotional breakdowns in the last several days (beginning with the one you saw the other day - I was still laughing then.....not now)
I had to leave a birthday party Saturday morning, I had to ask people to leave our house Saturday night (still laughing at this point), this morning Nora thought it was WWF at the Panter house (I had to pull over on the interstate on the way to church!), it was a mess getting out of church, again, and now Sophie has SCREAMED her entire nap.....

like I said, I miss his extra hands and physical presence.

There have been a few times I just needed to take a walk around the block, drive to Goodwill for a few minutes or just run an errand spontaneously.

I have a TON of help and it's been a really really good week but all that aside, this is a tough job and it wasn't meant to be done alone, I miss my husband.

Every time Jake goes I am reminded of the fact that I have dear close friends who have been widowed or abandoned by their husbands and are doing this job with no end in sight.
I drop, physically, to my knees a lot for these ladies....it hits close to home and I only have to taste it.