I have chosen to home school.
It was not a decision made out of fear, or ignorance or for popularity reasons.
It was an educated, researched, prayed over, discussed at length decision.
Just as it is for the large large majority of the homeschooling community.
So why is it that the feeling I get, as a whole, from non-home schoolers, is that I am making an uneducated and just down right silly choice and that their choice to use the public schools is a higher more educated decision that mine?
I do not feel that way about most people who choose to send their children to public school. As a matter of fact I feel that it's not even my place to judge in that area of your life unless one day your children become mine. You are their parent...not me...and visa versa.
I know why it is but am not sure if I am brave enough to write it here so I'll just leave that one to your imagination/research!
Where is this coming from you ask?
Long story but I'm really ok with the fact that people automatically put up defenses on this subject when it comes to discussing it with me or any other adult.
It's an emotional issue, I get that.
But when you let it start bleeding over into how you treat my children?
Watch out, mama bear is about to pounce.
And I'd expect you to pounce if I treated your child lesser just because of where he/she is educated. Seriously?
Lydia and Samantha, at the ages of 3 and 4, are already having to confront the issue with two public school teachers they encounter on a weekly basis and that is just wrong.
And, unfortunately I have seen this attitude from home schoolers to non-home schoolers.
Seeing rejection in your child's face is just not an easy thing for any mama bear to let go of.
Pounce.
So. Bring it on with me, I'd love to discuss it with you and let your emotions flow but my children had no say in the matter so please, let the kids - all of them - be.
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12 comments:
I've been reading your blog for a few months now and am really enjoying it. I also am homeschooling. I have 3 girls. The oldest is almost 5 and I know how you feel. I don't want my children to be looked down upon because they are homeschooled.. but they will be. That's what the world thinks. I also researched and prayed over homeschooling before I decided and am so excited with the possibilities!!
Thank God for our many freedoms we enjoy in our country, not the least of which is the choice of where/how to educate our children.
I was going through a time earlier this year where I felt much judgement and opposition. Thankfully, that has lifted and I don't know if it was "them" or me, but I now feel like if someone doesn't like it, then it probably isn't a good option for THEM, but their opinion is irrelevant to US.
There are many things our children will be judged about in their lifetime, I figure this is a great opportunity to start teaching them how to graciously, humbly, and firmly respond to criticism.
I am so sorry that someone has treated your girls poorly because of your choice for their education! You can still bring them over to play anytime! :o)
It's funny because I have a lot of friends who have chosen homeschooling and I let myself feel guilty for choosing public school. My friends, including you, are always the first to say that it's not for everyone and everyone needs to make that choice for their family.
I prayed a lot about homeschool and I was terrified that God wanted me to do that, but I was willing if He really wanted that. I called a dear friend who helped me realize the true source of my feelings...it was pride. PRIDE!? Me?! Prideful?! No way!! What it came down to, for me, as letting go of the control I was trying to keep.
And now - a month into public school, I know that prayerfully and as a united couple, Eric and I made the right decision. Especially for Amber. Everytime she reads one of her little books I cry. I don't know how to teach, effectively, a deaf child.
I look at my homeschooling friends and I see the homeschooling families at the library and a part of me wishes that was me. I miss my girls during the day, and their brother misses them and they miss each other - but this is what we felt was God's plan for our family...at least for now. Who knows - maybe it will be different down the road.
But I also know that I still homeschool some subjects. I can't stop when they come home from school and I can't stop on the weekends. Every moment I have with them, every experience I have for them needs to be a teaching moment. We are all homeschooling moms. It is my responsibility as a mom to be involved in their education and to continue it outside of the school walls. To continue to teach them life lessons and grace and kindness and God's love and discipline and confidence. Those are the classes that are my responsibility.
I respect homeschooling moms like you who are so passionate and want to let others know that they CAN do it if they want, but it's not always for everyone. I still apply your ideas and my friends' ideas to my "classes". I love that are a momma bear ready to pounce...I pray that I will be a pouncer too when needed.
I think any kind of schooling is like that, we got pounced on from a woman in our Sunday School class when we told her we weren't sending Sage to the public pre-school that is 5 days a week, all day. She happened to teach at one and thought they are the best and so much better than daycare. My husband gently told her he doesn't go to daycare either and then she didn't have much to say!
It is kind of hard to let things like that roll off your back because they are criticizing how you are parenting. And, I've talked to several public school teachers who say they probably won't send their kids to public school.
It's always good to be reminded that everyone thinks through how they are raising their children and are trying to do what is best for them!
awesome stuff ladies...awesome awesome. so articulate, so cool.
Doesn't it stink! And our kiddos are only in preschool and we are already getting the judgement. And these are supposed to be the easy times;)! The judgement on us has come mostly from family. I don't think it matters where it comes from, it's just so frustrating. My instinct is always to defend but I'm starting to realize that what I say doesn't matter and all the evidence in the world means nothing. So I guess we just faithfully walk and trust and POUNCE when necessary!!!
The truth of the matter is that it doesn't really matter what you do to raise your children, how hard you pray, how much you plan, how devoted you are... you will NOT make everyone happy. You have to do what you feel is right for your family, and work on developing a thicker skin. It may not be fair, but it is what it is. When my kids were in public school and I was "Little Miss PTO" and at the school volunteeering EVERY SINGLE DAY, I still had people telling me I wasn't doing enough or I should have my kids in private school or I should be homeschooling. Now that I'm homeschooling, I have people tell me I should have my kids in public or private school, or want to argue that I should be "unschooling" or that I should use a different curriculum, etc. It doesn't matter what you do--someone somewhere will take offense and will take it upon themselves to tell you about it! I've never understood why so many people feel the need to get into other people's business! And at the end of the day, aren't your children your business and not some random person's at the supermarket? Wow, I really got on a rant... am thinking this needs to be a blog someday! ;)
"Anonymous"
I appreciate so much what you said and will take it to heart but next time, please leave your name -
in the future,
if you leave your name and it's not vulgar, I won't delete it....I will delete anonymous comments that seem attack like though...
sorry, that's just not what I was going for in this debate
thought provoking, yes, mean, no.
oh, and for the record, I was homeschooled and then put in public school for a year - I was the teachers pet and had no problems whatsoever! just had to add that!
holly -
i homeschool my four kids - 11, 10, 8 and 7. As of 4th grade (2 school years ago) my son had been in 5 different schools. Homeschooling is just more consistent for our family. There are so many reasons people homeschool. We get a lot of criticism and my own mother tells the kids they should be in "real" school but I don't answer to them. Just God. And I loved my public school teachers the last time my kids were in school. So I shake my head at the naive things people often say about homeschool. We're not anti-anything. Just following what God has led OUR family to do for right now.
I agree with you! The kids are not the ones who should "field" the questions or concerns people have with homeschool.
You're doing a great job!
Pam
(i'm a friend of Jody's)
Ooh, this touched a nerve for me because I don't know what I will do with my kids but the fact that we spend so much time and effort judging each other makes me crazy. God knit this little baby together in my womb or brought the child in to your home or whatever, but God did it. God picked you to parent this child so what you choose to do with His guidance and wisdom is what is right for your child. As I sit here in tears I just think I am hard enough on myself , if you want to judge me you have to get in line behind me. Why would would we cause so much hurt to other people with our remarks and digs? Why do we do that to each other?
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