I have been pretty silent in the whole kid/parenting area lately.
I'm speechless to be honest.
I'm too busy fixing everything they break or finding everything they loose or rescuing everyone from every corner they themselves stuck into to think for one second how this all feels or how it effects me.
I'm worn out. I'll be honest.
It's a different worn out than when they were all super little.
We have gone from: making sure everyone got fed, changed, hugged and sung to
To: who broke the computer this time?, who drew on the wall this time? who locked themselves in the closet this time? you're lying, please tell me the truth., where did you find that?, STOP playing with my phone, the computer, the DVD player, the wipes, the toilet and the blinds, books are not for coloring or tearing they are for reading, you only color on PAPER not yourselves or any other object, food is not a toy, stop demanding and ask correctly, STOP hitting/biting/kicking each other and/or ME, do not take that from her without asking first, I don't care if it's yours you need to ask for it with kindness, and GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!!! (small small kitchen - not made for six people ;-).
and I repeat this run on sentence, over loud whining type of crying, every 15 min.
I do NOT exaggerate. Well, except for maybe the order in which it's said.
Even just writing this, I'm sure you're laughing. I'm not. I'm crying actually.
I will laugh and miss it one day, but right now all I can think is:
You all tested me on this three times today, do you really think there is something lucky about test number four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, etc.....???????
Well, there's NOT.
I was just thinking to myself yesterday, as I was plucking one of my almost two year olds out of a crib in someone else's home that she'd scaled and invited herself into, that everyday I am reminded of a time that I judged another mother for how horrible her kids were.
I have a friend who has twin boys and is a few years ahead of me in twin world but I remember when those boys were two....for the record, Tracy....I AM SO SORRY.
I remember a very vivid moment of pulling one of her twins out of Lydia's crib thinking to myself, "she needs to teach these kids boundaries, they are out of control and it's her responsibility" and another vivid moment with those same kids walking out of Samantha's room with a shelf in their hand that they had literally pulled out of the wall and she just looked and me and said, "sorry" and I thought "SORRY? not as sorry as I am for you - why don't you do something about that!?"....for the record, Tracy....I AM SO SORRY.
I now know the extreme, unfathomable amount of energy it took for her to just get out of bed and face all the destruction she knew she'd face that day, let alone 'do' something about it.
Nothing in this house is sacred to them, nothing is out of the radar of destruction.
And you know that Golden Rule that says your kids will always be worse with you than they will with anyone else or in anyone else's home?
Well, my kids, actually, just the twins, missed the memo.
Sorry about all that marker on your wall Melissa and thanks for still being my friend even when Lydia lied to you and said that "it's ok because we do it all the time at our house".
WHAT??????????
I do discipline. Like ALL the time. Even now as I type everyone is in a time out. Even me ;-).
I am consistent. We do have funny funny moments but when you quadruple the amount of destruction a single toddler can do - well, I'll just leave that to your imagination.....or you can just come over some time.
I am warning you though...you WILL judge me ;-)
Someone actually had the brave notion yesterday to insist that I DO have it easier than their one set of twins, their only children, because 'they all just go off in pairs and play together'
BUAHHHAAAABUAAAHHAAAAA!!!!
(that's computer talk for sarcastic laughing)
Oh well, maybe she was just needing to tell herself that?
No judgement from me...I've learned my lesson!!!!
Apparently I'm not speechless on the subject.
Oops...gotta go, someone is stuck in a closet, someone else just got hit and I can hear the sound of a pencil on the wall....I'll be back and if I'm not, please come looking for me -
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9 comments:
That's interesting... my boy is the destructive one but my girl is not. I thought it was a boy/girl thing.
I've found that I cannot specifically instruct him on every single thing which he is not supposed to destruct. I think it should be understood without saying that unless told otherwise, you shouldn't purposely break something. But it never seems to sink in.
Smiling as I read this, it's like you could read my mind. I can readily identify with EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAID, (except for the twin parts.) I could go on and on and on about how much I relate to this, but I won't : ) Just know, you are not alone sister, not alone.
Good for you for openly acknowledging the places you have judged. That is not always easy to do.
This, too, will pass... *said in the serene tone of someone who lost her sanity years ago--when her children were also quite young*
I've always wondered why they call securing a home "babyproofing". After all, what kind of destruction can a baby do? Sure, they destroy your sleep pattern, but your house? Not so much. Toddlerproofing... now that's a much better term. ;)
Oh, and whatever you do, DO NOT let the kids find a screwdriver. Trust me on this one!
Holly,
Through it all you inspire me! No I'm not laughing I'm crying with you. Mine are all grown up and have left the nest. I never had twins either but the struggles are there for all moms and you're no exception. You however are exceptional. I check your blog daily and inspite of your struggles you bring a ray of sunshine to my life. I will continue to pray for you as I go about my day. Shirley, Jason's mom
Naomi, it seems to me like Roxy just destroys in bigger more permanant ways...no? ;-)
thanks everyone...really really really, thanks.
Thanks, Holly, for being so honest :) Somehow you are able to so wonderfully put into words stories about MY day - how do you do that?! You are amazing in SO many ways and all four of your girls are better for it. (and Jake too of course!)
thanks for your honesty! and i'm with you. it's a good thing i didn't know what i was getting into with this whole "parenting" thing :-)
I remember reading one of my favorite parenting guys who is VERY strict/conservative. When I read his words, "obedience means they obey 60% of the time" I thought what, are you kidding me?? 60% that means almost just as much of the time "good" kids aren't obeying. Why didn't I read that before I thought it was a good idea to have one kid after another. (actually I never planned that) When you have multiple kids that 60% will NEVER happen at the same time...so we are all in a state of perpetual corection of our children...and older women keep telling me to "enjoy" these times! HAHAHA! I'm sorry, but I thought obedience meant they obey 100% of the time and I got to live in peace during child rearing as long as I disciplined once in awhile! Why don't they tell us this stuff BEFORE we have kids????? LOVED your post!
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