Monday, April 29, 2013


my precious first born.
the one I make all the mistakes with the hardest.

there are so many things to enjoy about an 8 yr old little girl.
The creativity,
the independence,
the deep thinking,
the great conversation!,
the help.

But, I am finding that as a mother, I feel like I'm failing her more than I ever have before.
Her faults are the sins of my heart amplified with immaturity.
Selfishness, Laziness, Grumpiness.
NOT all the time, in any way.
MOST of the time, this little girl is so sweet it just kills you.

But the times that I fail her seem huge to me.
The times that her sin is IN MY FACE are hard.

We are navigating them together.
I'm being honest.
She is honest with me ;-).

'cept when she's dealing with lying....then it's not so honest but she is really working on it and I'm proud of her for not just turning a blind eye and not trying...she is trying!

We are both trying.
Lydia, thank you for your grace.
You lavish it on me in ways I can't describe.
I snap at you, we talk, I say I'm sorry and you hug me as if I just gave you the world.

I don't know how we got so blessed with you kid but I'm sure glad we did.

The Lord knew I needed you to make me more like Him...

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