the conference weekend.

I am home from the conference.

I got home yesterday afternoon.

We learned a lot.

I am like a statistic machine right now.

You could push any part of my brain and I'd start spouting out #'s and %'s.

But, if you pushed my heart at all, like even if someone just breathed on it, I wouldn't be able to take any more.

That was hard.

I'd say it was the hardest bit of learning I have done to date.

The #'s, the %'s, the individual stories (which they told with the utmost of respect to the offended and did an amazing job at NOT over sensationalizing!), the solutions, the people behind them, the resources, the commitment level, our audacious laws that fuel trafficking in the US rather than snuff it out, the links to pornography, the links to abuse in early childhood, the links to broken families in general (basically, the links to sin. period.), the amount of scripture that applies to all of this, how absolutely silent the church (who is ALL about justice right now....unless it's for a prostitute.) is about all of it and how obvious that the church IS the answer to the problem.

I am more charged to forge ahead in this area than ever before.

I'm simultaneously more depressed about this than I ever have been before.

I have anger.

Lots of it.  Righteous anger.

One set of #'s and %'s for this post and I'll share more later.

Explanation for #'s after:

50% of men in evangelical churches admit to being addicted to pornography.

average age of entry for girls in to prostitution/posing for photos/leading in pornographic movies?  

12 to 14 yrs old.

there are a LOT more #'s and a lot more details that all go into how I was feeling this weekend. 

A LOT. To say that this particular part of the issue is a big deal to me wouldn't even be touching the tippy top of the ice berg.

but those two #'s combined made church this morning something I have never experienced in my life.

disgust. anger. fear for my girls. fear for what other men saw looking at me.

and some more anger.

Why the silence?

That's all I want to know?

50%.

12-14 yrs old.

Why the flippin' silence?

(can I brag on Jake for a minute? ok. thanks!

my husband took all four of our girls to a dance recital while I was gone, cleaned out two cupboards, put up four new 'gutter shelves' in the girls room, had a friend over for a cook out/all night video game session, the house was clean when I got home, he listened to me process this out loud when I got home and was outraged/angry/excited with me and then he prayed for every man that he shook hands with at church this morning.

I couldn't look a man in the eyes this morning and I broke down in sobbing tears when I asked one of the girls teachers 'could her son not be the one to take my girls to the bathroom please?' - and Jake prayed for every man he shook hands with - and Jake shakes a lot of hands, 'cause he's Jake.  I went to the bathroom and sat on the floor in the stall for a minute while I just went ahead and let some tears out, but Jake prayed.  So....that's what I started doing too.

He is awesome.  I am blessed.)

more on all of this to come.

education for you who read this blog for some reason.

what I learned.

what my response is going to be/has been this weekend.

scripture.

Lots of scripture.

it's coming....