little bits at a time

I've decided to do most of my rehashing about this past weekend little bits at a time.

It's what I wanted to do anyway and I think doing it slow will help the 'pill' go down.

first....some scripture:

Prov 14: 31....whoever is kind to the needy worships God.

Matt 10:28.....do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.  Rather, be afraid of the ONE who can destroy both body and soul in hell.

Isaiah 1:17....LEARN to do right. Seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.


Worship.  Be afraid of the One.   Learn.  Seek.


Leading up to the conference I was presented with the interesting task of telling people where I was going.

Our church was hosting a women's retreat the same weekend in Lancaster, PA (Amish Country).
So, I was asked on many occasions, "Are you coming to the retreat?" to which I tried to answer with things like, "No." or "No, I'm going to a conference." or "No, I can't make it." all in an attempt to just stop the questioning right then and there.

Without fail whether it was in reference to the retreat, or me missing the girls dance recital or invitations to various events that weekend - the conversation NEVER died or stopped.
Instead, everyone wanted to know, "well, where are you going to be?"
(and I attribute this to the work that God was doing because really, my voice insinuated I did not want to have a conversation about that particular weekend)

So, onward I marched, as a matter of fact,
"I'm going to a conference about the church's response to Human Sex Trafficking"

to which I got these types of responses:

"Wow. Why are you interested in such a thing?"
(translation....actually, I have no idea, but it was awkward, I can tell you that!)

or

"That's valiant.  I could never do that." (meaning just go to the conference, I think?)

or

just plain silence/awkwardness.

and all sorts of variations of those same reactions.

(there were, and still are, also the great and encouraging responses!!!)

I, after a few weeks, dropped the 'sex' part and just said,
"I'm going to a conference on the church's response to Human Trafficking"

Interesting.

The awkward responses changed a little.  People were still a little astounded that this homeschoolin'-granola bar makin' mama would want anything to do with that but with the church's shift towards social justice these past few years it was at least not shocking.  It was normal sounding so I had 'approval'.
The change in response wasn't drastic but it was at least comfortable for everyone around.

I got back and was talking with an acquaintance in church last Sunday (yes, that Sunday, the hard one) and after asking that Nora and Sophie not be taken to the bathroom by a teenage boy
(he didn't go in, he was just walking them to the door but still major ABSOLUTELY not in our book)
I felt the need to explain why I couldn't ask without breaking into a sobbing mess and that I didn't think her son was even close to guilty of anything questionable, it's just that......
I told her where I'd been (leaving the sex part in this time) and that the stats about church and incidents in churches were overwhelming me at the moment, this is what she said,

"Oh, I understand!  Don't even worry about it.....

I could not have gone and even heard that information.

I don't know how you did it."


I don't want to paint this conversation in a way that makes you think it was the only time I'd heard this.

In other words, it is what every single person told me before I left.

"I can't even stand to hear about it."

this next part may sound judgmental, it is not meant to be, stick with me.

answer me this:

If you cannot even stand to HEAR about it, how then is a child expected to LIVE it?


The reason I say that I don't mean it in any judgmental light is that I am an American citizen too.  That alone spoils me.  As an American I can choose to stick my head in the sand, only read what makes me happy and peaceful and go on about my life.
Life here may change one day, but that is how it is right now.
It doesn't mean that evil isn't there.  It just means I'm choosing to believe that someone else is taking care of it.

thoughts from some of my notes this weekend:

*We convince ourselves that we are not the vessels to bring God's Justice.
Someone else will.
*We get distracted because we're not grounded in Christ.
*By not extending our circles of responsibility, we pour salt on the character of the Holy Spirit.
*Neutrality helps the oppressor.
*It needs to be more about discipleship than sensationalism.


Worship.  Be afraid of the One.   Learn.  Seek.


ok.
so, maybe it is a hard topic.
Maybe it is the vilest of all evil's in our world right now.

It's just that (among other places) I think it's exactly where Jesus would be hanging out if He were to have chosen this generation to live amongst instead of the generation He actually did live amongst.

And it is hard to LEARN about.
But the more I SEEK out His character the more I want to WORSHIP Him with my life and I have no one to be afraid of because He is the destroyer of evil.

I will not be neutral.
Someone else will not be the vessel, I will.
I will extend my circle of responsibility because it's exactly what Jesus did for me.
I will be choose to open my eyes, pull my head out of the sand and really be discipled by Him.

And I will teach my girls to love fiercely....

even if it is hard even just to "hear" about it. (no, my girls are not 'hearing' about it!)