failing at...everything.

*went to Target at 8:30pm last night.
shopped for an hour.
went to pay.
had no wallet.
drove 10 min's home.
got wallet.
drove back to pay and take my goods home.
oh...and the two main things I even went for...were OUT.
the cashier was so nice, what she had to say to my mishap was, "now that was painless, wasn't it!?"
and she wasn't being sarcastic.
I wanted to be though.
actually, I kinda wanted to punch her.
but whatever.

*Samantha is going through a major dose of separation anxiety. At age six. Not sure what to do with that but I do know it's starting to make me a little crazy.
Short story: lady yelled at Samantha in the middle of Target a few weeks back, Samantha now has separation anxiety. I'd like to have 'more' words with that lady.

*Lydia is going through a major dose of "argue with mommy over the color of the sky".  At age seven.  I though I at least had four more years until we hit that stuff!?

*I've had a sinus infection for 27 days now. I'm on antibiotics #2. The infections is from swimming. Because I can't run. Running would be so much easier...'cept for that whole, 'I'm broken' thing.  Stupid swimming.  I miss running. A lot.

*I'm so sick of losing my patient with my kids. Sick. of. it.  I can't even stand to hear myself any more.

*We almost died in Washington DC yesterday because we dropped a thrift store beanie baby in the middle of the road and had to stop to pick it up. (we meaning one girl, but we were all holding hands....'cause it was DC and if we weren't holding hands we'd die, 'cept we almost did die because we all stopped to rescue a $.75 elephant!!!!)
Um.....

*I asked the girls what was their favorite subject in school lately.
all four of them said, "nothing.".
great.
score one for mom!

*do not have one Christmas present bought. don't even know what 3/4 of the presents will be yet.  not like me.

*On a good note, I thought I was one chapter behind in my Bible study this week but when I got there I she told me I wasn't failing at every area in life, I was right on schedule. (and yet, somehow I still don't believe her...maybe we were just both behind??)

*Our future. probably nothing and yet the idea of what may come soon clings to my subconscious like craaAaazy.

*There are enough leaves in our yard to mulch the entire White House garden.  And we haven't bagged one leave.  And they are still falling.  And I don't care.

*Throwing Nora and Sophie a birthday party tomorrow. Do you know what I love most about Nora and Sophie right NOW? They are kid #3 and #4...which means they are used to 'less' or not my 'best' and they don't care.  They are more excited about their party than either of the other girls were and they are getting 'less' of a party and not what they originally wanted and again, don't care....which makes me all twisted inside and sad that they didn't get my 'best' or 'more' of a party....
It will be cute, just not my normal.

*so many trafficked girls out there...so many kids...always on my mind/heart.....what do to???

just in case you thought it was all butterflies and rainbows around here lately ;-)

BUT in between all that jingling around my head/heart there is this:

OH YEAH!!!!