I just read a girlfriend's blog about how every thing her kids are doing today is annoying her.
Me too sister. Me too.
I think different things do it to us,
for me....
It's the 'day off'.
From the time I had Lydia it seems like girl's night outs, days off for conferences, retreats out of town for a few days, etc.... they all have a down side.
The next day. Sometimes it's even the next week.
I'm almost embarrassed to say this because leading up to the break I feel like I need it so bad but coming home from the break I'm sad I even took it.
I spent all day yesterday at this and today I just feel out of control. My house work is backed up, my sleep is backed up, I'm totally disconnected from the girls, my patience...I'm not sure, maybe I left it at the conference?, my joy in what I'm doing is hiding, my excitement for what's going on here runs away.
I get it all back...the next next day.
But, I'm just not sure these 'breaks' are worth these 'days'.
Dates with Jake don't do this to me. Well spent time in hashing out spiritual things with friends doesn't do this to me. Accomplishing something important and thought out doesn't do this too me. Taking Lydia or Samantha (or both) with me to those other things doesn't do this too me.
Am I on to something?
I don't like what I'm on to.
It doesn't fit my social agenda, it doesn't make me look good, I don't like saying 'no', the anticipation of social pressure is already heavy and I haven't even made the decision.
Admitting it and moving on to more eternal perspectives though?
Now that sounds awesome.
To not ever have one of these days again?
Now that sounds awesome.
Awesome enough to say no, that's for sure.
(note!!!! the Willow Creek Leadership Summit is one of the most amazing conferences I have ever been to and recommend it for anyone - it's made for church and business leaders but I believe that the most influential leaders we have in our world are mothers and therefore a little leadership training would go a long way.....I just didn't actually 'go' to the conference, I volunteered to help it happen....I'll be checking out the DVD from our church later to watch it with Jake though!)
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6 comments:
No judgement here!! I am slowly learning how to see the more "eternal perspective" as you put it. God just slowly working at opening my eyes to my true heart...which thankfully isn't something just anyone can see. I need a lot of work, and my kids get the brunt of my "Self-awareness" days. No judgement...just empathy and support!!
Holly, yet AGAIN what you have said I completely relate to!!
I feel like when I go away and relax, I lose my momentum. It's hard to get back into the groove, and manage all the demands after stepping away. No judgement here either, I get you girl.
thanks girls.
I don't know why but I needed affirmation about that.
I have spoken of it to a few others and have gotten blank stares which always makes me feel fabulous!
I'm not crazy. Or, atleast, I'm not alone in my craziness.
TOTALLY with you! i have a friend that just got away with her husband for a week for the first time (they have 3 little kids) and i warned her about how she would feel when she got home...she didn't get it til it happened. you miss your kids so much...and love them for the first hour or so...til all the demands hit you square in the face and you've forgotten how to handle it well. but i still think those times (with our husbands, friends, spiritual retreats) are worth it...in the long run.
I have much less wisdom than you lady -- and what I do have, most came from you or Jake! One thing you've taught me constantly (both when ya'll are with us & just close at heart through here) is do what you feel & God is showing you is right for you. Love you tons & praying for you.
PS, Random -- Sarah W. got married today :)
oh yeah baby! Those "days" after are the most unflattering side of motherhood..You wrote and explained this phenomenon well!
see you after my children are well..Sophia was in the ER yest..
lungs for her this time, not her twin bro.
Kim
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