It's been a while. I get all settled and I forget.
Jake's gone, it's only for the week, but it is bringing back some hard memories.
Not too distant memories.
I haven't had to do bedtime alone for more than one night at a time in a while and I gotta say that I don't particularly enjoy that.
It's scary being alone in the house with only me to protect the girls; we live in an old house that creeks, squirts and shifts, really, it's scary.
I'm jealous of all the fun stuff he's getting to do and of all the people he's getting to do it with, he's jealous of my time with the girls and being able to just relax at home.
It makes for fabulous phone conversations.
Is it better than it used to be, than when they were all younger?
It's different. Actually, right now, it's harder.
Everyone has an opinion and needs what they want RIGHT NOW!!!!
Lydia IS easier. She's such a help and is sweeter than pie.
Samantha is easier. She's always been an extreme kid though. There are no in betweens with her and that sensitivity is heightened when Jake is gone.
It's rough to be away from daddy but it's especially rough when you're a daddy's girl.
So, her easierness comes in waves, always followed by something that is harder.
Nora and Sophie? They are not easier. Have you ever had an almost two year old? Double it, take daddy out of the picture and throw in some toddler sisters....GRRRR....
So, Lydia and Samantha...not necessarily harder but Nora and Sophie more than make up for it to the point that now I'd say it is harder than when they were younger.
But? Am I just forgetting?
I have to be.
Now, I DO get to sleep through the night, they retrieve and throw away their own diapers, they go to their rooms on their own if they are told/are in trouble, they do self-entertain for segments of time and they hug and kiss back without being told or prompted!!! (love that!).
After all that, I'd have to say that parts of it are easier now than before, other parts have changed so of course they are hard.
My main frustrations are that Nora and Sophie are just in a rough, rough stage and I can't be there with Jake right now having a great time with him or that he can't be here having a great time with me and the girls.
Oh yeah, and it is Monday - not our most graceful day around here and today was no exception - I'll come back tomorrow and see if I'm still feeling this way!?
The Mommy and Daddy
(aka Holly and Jake, but only sometimes)
Our Lydia
Our Samantha
Our Lenora
Our Sophie
4 comments:
I am feeling your pain right now, Kyle left Sun. @ 4am for SOS. Gavin has actually been having a hard time, he gets it and is not too happy about it. He hasn't been more difficult, just sad. Almost 2 is definantly one of the more difficult stages, I can't imagine 2 at the same time. I am also feerful of being here alone, it always takes me a couple of days- I stay up late and try to keep my mind of things. Of course staying up just makes me tired the next day, but it is still scary and I just can't sleep. My thoughts and prayers are with you, let me know if you need anything. I will be praying for Jake's interview. Talk to you later.
i don't think it ever gets easier...just DIFFERENT. i mean, your heart is always going to be consumed with love for those 4 little girls - no matter HOW little or big they are. you're doing a great job! (and my husband is so jealous Jake was at that amazing game last night!!!)
Holly, I can completely relate to what you are feeling. My girls are 13 mos apart (Ally just turned 3 last week and Emily will be 2 in Oct) and my husband was gone 10 out of the past 12 mos to Afghanistan as a civilian contractor. He's been back for all of a month and his company is already asking him to go back again (my stomach knots up just thinking about it). Anyway, though we don't know each other, I feel like I do through your writing and please know that you have people praying for you who definitely "get it!" I wish you many more sleep-filled nights. That is one thing I am thankful for my husband being home - our youngest would wake up between 4-6 times a night when he was gone. Sometimes I wonder how I did it...
When new moms of twins ask if it gets easier, I always say "It's just different. Every stage presents it's own challenges. When you think you've got one mastered, a new one pops up, and sometimes old ones too."
And when asked "How do you do it?" I say (as I'm sure you have your "robot" answer)..."One minute at a time."
love you girl - hang in there.
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