Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I don't even know how to communicate this scene properly
but I want to write it down, no matter how bad, while it's still fresh on my mind.
with four toddlers.
11:30am arrive. park by cart return. unbuckle the twins. unload everyone. at this point I am talking constantly and it sounds exactly like this every time:
come on, let's go, we're here, let's get out, yes, we're ready Nora, everyone touch the car, no, not the tire, just stand against the car please, ok, now let's walk, stay right by mommy, NORA!!! get over here, stay by mommy, SAMANTHA!!! please hurry up, stay with us, you're too far behind, NORA!! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!! there are cars and you're going to get an ouchie if you don't stay by us, ok, don't cross, wait for cars, do you see any cars? do you hear any cars? good. ok. let's cross. Samantha, come on! hurry up, good job (and I say good job meaning, "I can't believe we just made it across that parking lot and we are all still alive).
11:37am we are finally in the store.
two carts. one twin in each seat. major protesting. Lydia and Samantha want to ride, Nora and Sophie want to walk but mommy says we have to start this way and then we'll take turns later.
and Nora and Sophie need this repeated about every 2 min. until it's their turn to 'walk'
11:40am start shopping.
Lydia is extremely helpful and for the most part great to shop with....unless she's tired.
Samantha just wants to know when we will be purchasing make-up (chapstick) and will ask at 30 sec. intervals for two hours straight. She pees in her panties, just a squirt, every single time and it's...well, it's maddening.
Nora and Sophie, after sitting in the baby seats for 15 min just can't take it anymore and switch with their big sisters.
Two weeks ago this was fine, it was crazy but they stayed with us.
NOT THE LAST TWO TIMES.
It's like they took toddler cat-nip or something and wrestling, tickling, giggling, screeching, running, etc....that is all the sudden appropriate grocery store behavior???
They both get 'hidden spankings' for running away from us (and I'm talking a distance of about 20-30 feet away, behind isle's, etc... to me that warrants a spanking - less traumatizing than a kidnapping, right?)
and they get put back in the cart for the rest of the trip, which equals loud obnoxious whining type of crying.
I'm cool with my kids crying when they are hurt or sad, but whining....yeah, I have NO tolerance.
So, 'no tolerance' mommy enters the scene and we (me and Nora today, somedays it's Sophie) have a stare down and good talkin' to until she quits whining.
some where around 1/2 way through the trip we hit the restrooms.
we have a 'stand against the wall' rule if you aren't engaged in any of the bathroom activities so I find myself saying 'stand against the wall' about 1,000 times.
OH! you should see the "you're Hilter" looks I get!!!!
we need FOUR stalls people.
have you ever seen a public restroom with four clean stalls?
let alone four consecutive clean stalls?
Samantha, Nora and Sophie all still need help (without step stools and with scary self flushing toilets mama is a necessity...don't get me started)
I look ridiculous going in and out of three stalls each about three times.
1x to put them on
2x to wipe/get dressed/tell them where to flush
3x to tell them to get out and go stand against a wall.
most bathrooms Lydia can wash her own hands, but not all
so, I lift and wash 6-8 hands per trip and then thoroughly scrub my own (that's a lot of doors to touch and bottoms wiped!)
forget me needing to pee - I just hold it.
back to shopping we go...if you have to go again while we're out. tough luck...
it's now around
I have put back about 10 items that mysteriously entered the cart, told everyone NO a thousand times to different requests and administered a years worth of discipline in one short hour.
and checking out.
I don't know if I even have the energy to convey what the check out process is like.
Nora and Sophie are always toast and whining at this point.
NO MATTER WHAT I DO.
Lydia and Samantha are squeezing in every ounce of effort to get me to buy just one more thing mommy!!!!!????
the checker is always one of two things: frustrated with me, the opposite of helpful or wants to know my birthing stories for each kid. UGH.
the check out process always takes about 30 min.
that's a long time in line and I usually turn away about 5 people letting them know we take a long time and I am so sorry but you'd get out of here faster if you switched lanes.
they are always grateful. ;-)
from the checkout to the car kinda goes like from the car to the carts.
just repeat all I said.
and it's nap time.
and they are being very testy.
and they are.....being bad.
everyone take your shoes off and put them in the basket, go potty, wash your hands really really really good, Samantha go put new panties on, Nora and Sophie I said to put your shoes away and go potty, stop playing and obey, RIGHT NOW!!! Samantha, I will get _____ for you later, right now its' nap time (she always NEEDS something), Nora and Sophie, if you don't obey right now, you will get in trouble, Samantha, NOW....and repeat until everyone has gotten in trouble at least two times and finally goes potty, washes their hands and puts their shoes next to the basket, not in, just next to. (you enforce this after all that we just did :-) all while Lydia, because she's four and just being adorable right now, has obeyed and is waiting in her room for my assistance with nap time activities for her.
everyone is in their room, has had a reminder about how you're supposed to act in a store and a reminder that screaming at mommy is unacceptable but I love you and we will do better next time, right?, Samantha has what she asked for 1/2 a second after we walked in the door and Lydia has been assisted and all are drifting off.
time to bring in and put away groceries.
perfect timing too because at this point I feel:
tired, defeated, and listless
but by golly we will survive now because we have food.
because we went to the store, no matter how ridiculous it is for us.
and we will go again.
and it will be better next time, right girls????????